Friends and Family Move

“The only constant in life is change.”

That old adage has never felt more true. You feel it — and so does everyone else. It’s not just you considering a move; your friends, family, and neighbors are, too.

This constant movement reshapes our relationships in ways we often underestimate. In fact, research suggests that roughly 50% of our close friends and contacts change every seven years. It’s a staggering figure when you stop to think about it.

Sociologist Robin Dunbar has shown that, on average, we each have the cognitive and emotional capacity to maintain around 150 relationships. These relationships exist in layers:

• 5 in our innermost circle — those closest to us,

• 15 in our core group of good friends,

• 50 broader friends and acquaintances,

• And another 80 in our extended social network.

In essence, about 75 of those relationships evolve or fade every seven years, ideally replaced by new connections that keep us socially connected and supported.

Your Friends May Move

When people evaluate their current location — its strengths and weaknesses — friendships often top the list. And they should. Community is one of the four key dimensions of the Place Planning Assessment, and research shows friendships are directly tied to physical health, mental health, and longevity.

Take the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has followed participants for over 85 years. Its clearest conclusion?

“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” — Dr. Robert Waldinger, Study Director.

But there’s a challenge: friendships often depend on proximity. That neighbor you’ve known for 20 years, the one you’ve counted on — they may not always be your neighbor. The same is true of your broader local network.

Often, friends make independent decisions about where to live at each stage of life. Some moves are within their control — pursuing better weather, a lower cost of living, or a retirement dream. Others, like job changes or family obligations, are less predictable.

In some places, this movement is practically built in. In parts of the Midwest or Northeast, for example, it's common for retirees to become "snowbirds," spending part of the year — or moving entirely — to warmer climates like Florida or Arizona.

The takeaway? No matter where you live, you should expect that some portion of your friends will move.

Your Family May Move, Too

For many, living near family is a cornerstone of how they choose a place. But family moves, too.

A common example: parents moving to be closer to their children and grandchildren. It offers countless benefits — deeper involvement in family life, stronger intergenerational connections, even practical support with childcare.

But just as easily, life can send family members elsewhere — a new job, an unforeseen need, or simply life circumstances. Suddenly, the place that worked well for you because of family ties feels different.

For older adults, especially, repeated moves to "follow the family" can be emotionally, financially and practically taxing.

The Importance of Making Friends Throughout Life

The lesson? Recognize that friends and family will move — it’s part of life. Reflect honestly: How would you feel about your current place if they weren’t here?

That risk isn’t all downside. Others may move to your area. But it underscores one of the most important — and underrated — life skills: the ability to make new friends, at any age.

If you reach a stage in life, say retirement, with a "fixed" social circle, you may not be prepared for the natural turnover that comes with time — or for the simple reality that you may outlive some friends.

The good news? Making friends is a skill, one you can develop with the right mindset — and the right place.

If you struggle to form new connections where you live, that may be a red flag. The best places aren’t just those where your current friends and family live — they’re places where, no matter what life brings, you can build meaningful relationships that help you stay connected, supported, and fulfilled.

‍